I’ve heard the phrase “fake it till you make it” quite often when it comes to achieving confidence. Live life as if you have a lot of confidence until you start to believe it. Although I’m sure this works for some, it has never worked for me. How does a person who wasn’t raised with confidence become confident…? Well, I’m not 100% there yet, but I have come a long way, and I can say that I am happy with the person I am. My journey has brought me strength within and has taught me how to love myself for who I am.
Although I don’t live by the FAKE IT until you make it strategy, I do agree on self-love. Sometimes we need to talk ourselves up to feel okay. I’m not saying be cocky and conceited or believe you’re better than everyone else. You shouldn’t be boastful or arrogant. The only person you should be better than is the person you were yesterday. I’m talking about those little compliments that you can give yourself each and every day. Give yourself a pep talk in the morning and get your day started off on a positive note. Self-love and self-respect should be regular and is very beneficial.
“You’re going to do great things today.”
“Let’s take this day and OWN it.”
“You have a beautiful heart, and you will do great things in life if you put your mind towards it.”
“Don’t give up.”
“Look what you’ve accomplished, you should be so proud of yourself.”
It’s ALWAYS easier said than done but if we take the time to LOVE ourselves and be comfortable in our skin, then confidence is down the road. Social media gives us a fake betrayal of how a person should look, how a person should be, and how we should live our lives. GIRL that isn’t real. Don’t compare your lives to those you see on social media. You are YOU and YOU is BEAUTIFUL!!
We need to be able to look ourselves in the mirror and like what we see back. How can we do this?
I know what has worked for me, and I will share it with you but I do know that we are all different and we may all have our own ways to build ourselves up. I am by no means a counsellor or therapist I’m merely a woman who has been through a lot and who has grown from those life lessons and became a stronger person. I still have flaws, a lot of them, but we all do and that is what makes us US. We were never meant to be perfect. That’s a big title to take on.
Find something you’re passionate about and take it full throttle. This doesn’t have to be something vast and complicated. If you’re passionate about scrapbooking or makeup or maybe you’re passionate about organizing things then pursue it. Pursuing something that you’re passionate about will help build you up, and building yourself up builds up your confidence.
If you’re feeling super down on yourself, try working out. We have power over our own bodies, and we can change the outer shell. Working out has always been an escape for me. It take my mind off of all the junk and lets me focus on myself. When I start to see results, I feel better about myself and more comfortable in my own skin. I always enjoy running because it’s a time where I am by myself, working towards a new goal which brings me to number 3.
Make a goal and complete it. When we can finish something on our own, it builds our confidence hugely. We sometimes think we can never accomplish something or we are useless and give up too quickly. Our goals don’t have to be huge. Start out small and make your goal realistic so you CAN accomplish it. Eventually you will expand those goals and have a few going at a time.
Keep telling yourself you can do it. It’s easy to be discouraged. When we have no confidence or very little confidence we don’t believe we can do anything. Don’t let yourself tell yourself that. Break away from that negative thought and keep telling yourself that YOU CAN DO IT, and you will.
Stay clear of negative people. You will NEVER build your confidence if you’re always surrounded by people who are sucking the life out of you. You are already negative so why surround yourself with people who are going to leave you feeling even more negative. Escape away from those people. If you have those kinds of friends, chances are they are stuck in the same situation and maybe you taking a break and working on yourself will inspire them to do the same. Misery loves company and being around miserable people will only do harm to your confidence. You will bring home a sour attitude and it sucks motivation out of you. AS women we should be LIFTING each other up, instead of tearing each other down.
Take time out for yourself. Have a nice warm bath. Get your nails done. Go get a facial or a massage. You NEED to take some time out for yourself in order to work on yourself.
You need to get to know yourself better. What do you like, what do you dislike. What makes you happy and what makes you unhappy. Write down these questions and answer them. We get so busy catering to other people’s needs that we literally forget our own. We try to impress our boss, we work so hard at making sure our kid’s needs are met that we put ourselves on the back burner and forget our passions and desires. What makes me happy? Helping people. How am I going to help people? By pursuing that passion. This is why I started to blog. It’s an outlet that I can use to reach people like myself who may need some inspiration.
To gain confidence, we need to first be happy with who we are. It’s going to take some deep digging to find yourself again, but it’s a journey you will make that you will NEVER regret. Getting to know you is something we all need to do now and again. Life is busy and so fast paced that it is easy to neglect ourselves.
I came from a neglected home, and that had a lot to do with my low self-esteem. I chose NOT to feel sorry for myself but to take my experience and give my kids a better life. I decided to take my story and help others who may be going through the same. My journey has taught me that I have the power to change my thoughts and the power to take my life and change it. We cannot change our past or the things we have been through, but we DO have the POWER to change how we react to it and the power to come out of it with a positive spirit. We have the POWER to be a better person and to make choices that will help us succeed. My personal experience has given me a love for helping people and a whole bunch of compassion for those who struggle. I have found that I can be a negative person and I’ve learned that I need to take those thoughts and turn them around into positive thoughts. Once we practice this daily it eventually just becomes who we are. Everyone has a story that has affected their confidence and has given them low self-esteem. You need to remember that you’re not the only one who is going through this. I still work on this daily. Nobody is perfect. I used to envy those people who had the most prominent personalities and who felt 100% comfortable in their skin. I’ve learned that even those people struggle with something that they want to change and are unhappy with. We CANNOT compare ourselves to other people. That will only make you depressed about yourself. We aren’t meant to be anyone but ourselves. So be yourself, and own it. God put us on this earth and gave us our traits, talents and personalities for a reason. God tells us to love thy neighbour as we love ourselves. If we don’t like ourselves how can we love anyone else? We all have something huge to contribute to the world. We aren’t here for long; we need to make our life on earth memorable. Be a change to someone’s life. Most importantly, take care of yourself. You DESERVE to be happy, and YOU deserve to be a strong, confident person. Work towards it, and you will find success.
Below are some scriptures I love that talk about Gods love for you and loving yourself. Gods grace and mercy has been with me on my journey and I thank him for giving me this heart, compassion and empathy.
Proverbs 19:8- TO acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper
Psalm 139:14- I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Jeremiah 1:5- “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Be your best self.